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I like to use art to process my feelings and thoughts.
Feburary has been harsh to me. I have been trying hard to fight against it. Sometimes I think that people age by becoming stronger and stronger. For example, I had no idea when I would become an adult, until I found myself asking for a martini at a bar. I could not picture myself as stronger person, when I first felt strong. Here I am, being challenged to be stronger again.
I made a video with a little note about my feelings of becoming a strong person.


I don't drink coffee, but I like to put sugar and cream for other people.
While I stir their coffee, I observe most of the sugar pulled into the center of the cup because of the centeripetal force.
As soon as I slow down and loosen it, the sugar starts to fall down onto the bottom of the cup.
I feel the sugar particles left on the bottom of the cup.
I wished it to dissolve, but it's still there.
So I start stirring again, harder.
Eventually, I won't feel the sugar anymore.
I don't watch or think, but only continue stirring until it's all gone.
Becuase I don't want it to fall.
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So, today, I run again non-stop.
I try not to pay attention to other things than where I am running towards.
I pass everything else that's around
I don't see anything, I cannot see.
Eventually, I allow myself to slow down a little bit.
I realize my heart has influeneced my eyes
I see everything different
Everything looks different to me.
I can't even recognize what I had been trying so hard to avoid
I cannot see anymore.