iathinkn

I think a lot. I have had some trauma related to this fact: people thought I were upset because I was pondering so hard, quiet; I may frustrate people as I express slower because of my intense internal process.

Thought process is a way of self communication. Just like meditation, it helps to internalize and/or to pay attention to the self. I remember when I first learned to think deeply about an object. High school boyfriend got me into the obsession of philosophy, and we ended up creating the secret new word iathinkn a-k-a I am thinking.

These are some of the thoughts while taking this photo in my sink.

• Speed amazes me. I am surprised by the speed of light, speed of sound, and speed of water! Water seems to be the loosest, and I can control the speed with the knob. But I can never catch the running water!
• I like touching things. I haven't thought of "why."
  - Maybe I am fascinated by tactile sense,
  - maybe I enjoy the non-verbal communication,
  - or maybe I feel the most connected.
• I love water.
  - I like touching water when it is running. I like the tickling feeling on my fingers when it's running through them. Sometimes it frustrates me because it only keeps running and I can't catch or stop it. It's like something you want to possess, but you can't really.
  - I feel the water. I feel warm and relaxed. It slows down my heartbeat. It's also interesting because I feel free, yet somehow contained under the water. Maybe my feeling of contained is because my brain is telling me I am still in the tub, not in the middle of pacific ocean.
  - I like washing dishes. It is a good excuse to play in the water. I get bubbles, too! Sometimes rinsing off the food from the dishes feels clearing my leftover thoughts.