Check out my new favorite website: www.whoi.edu
I spent 500 hrs looking at these fantastic photos of jellyfish
These guys reside 2500m deep in the sea

artful walk

Jack is an 8-year-old Latino boy. I have been working with this bright, sensitive boy through individual art therapy, since last December.
I have sensed that the men are expected to be strong and independent (macho) in Latino culture. I've always wondered if that is the reason why Jack does not express his emotions (especially if they are negative), yet only smiles. So I have been supporting Jack by understanding his feelings and encouraging him to express the feelings appropriately.
Jack has been holding back his feelings of hurt and sad after his parents' separation. Also, he has been trying to tell himself that it is okay...for his biological dad to forget about their weekend plan. To help Jack to realize and to understand his own feelings better, I started meditation with him for the check in every session. While feeling "weird" about the new experience, Jack started releasing his feelings that he has been holding on all this time. He learned to get his tears out when he needs to, as well as expressing that he misses his dad.

The images above are the photos Jack took while we were taking a walk after our session last Friday.

I like to give the least control to children. Yet, I agree that appropriate controls can be helpful for the children's growth, especially for the socialization.
Therefore, I like to give chilren the freedom explore, and give them one (or two, depending on their development) concrete rule that they may understand, at the same time.
(Compromise is effective at all times!)
For instance, I respect Jack's desire of taking photos on his own, yet negotiate with one rule that I have for him. (The key point here is: to be concrete with the rule that you are proposing, and to clearly convey the reason why they need the rule.)
"This camera is really important to me because my dad gave it to me as a gift. You are welcome to use it now, and there is one thing I want you to keep in mind while using it. Try to keep the strap around your wrist, so you won't drop my camera. Do you think you can do it?" Just like adults, children appreciate trust and affirmation. (esp. important note in working with children)
As soon as holding the camera in his hand, S starts pusing the shutter button towards whatever is catching his eyes. Cracked cement on the sidewalk, the ladybug on the leaf, the church across the crosswalk, broken glass on the street.........

I can still remember his smile that lasted throughout the beautiful afternoon.

I am officially an artist

I have been feeling like an artist lately (actually, I will be selling some of my drawings this weekend)
I had never imagined of creating art on my own and presenting them to others before I stepped into the art therapy world. Because of this reason, I have been feeling nervous and anxious about the whole idea of calling myself an artist and considering my work professional.

My photo has been chosen for a show sponsored by Nippon Steel last fall - Thanks to my friend who took me to the countryside and almost got me arrested in the farm. The art will be up next month. I had mixed feelings of confusion and excitement when I first heard from them: somehow positive. definitely a good feeling to learn that there are other people who are happy about my work that I am happy about.

I went to the private reception today. I felt honored to have a luxurious luncheon at a five-star hotel with all the other great artists, the Japanese executives, and the school staff. I met some student artists whose names were familiar to me (famous for good art, good looking). Other than the fact that I had to rush on purchasing the appropriate, "business attire" and deal with the relevant issue of dropping a shoe into a toilet; it was a pleasant experience to present myself as an artist in a nice suit. I realized my art was having me represented as another self to the audience. The audience appreciated my existance as well as my that was projected on the screen. So my art has been sort of like a transitional object, I would say. Oh! I cannot get the psychology out of my mind.

I thought this was cool - the sticky name tag I had to attach to my brand new fancy jacket. It's as ridiculous as a teenager saving the first RatedR movie ticket in her diary

Self-care List(s)

I cannot stand Insomnia. I mean, that rarely happens to me. Deep-sleeping is my favorite way to relax - I do not mind place/time/any other conditions when it's time for bed.

Apparently the anxiety about graduation and job searching has been bugging me so much that it's getting to my favorite part of my life -sleep! I have tried many different things to deal with it: drink milk (which I don't normally do), hot bath and shower, counting 100 to fall asleep ............

This morning I woke up at 3:30a.m. and said,"This is insane." Then I wrote one page for my thesis.
I try brainstorming for some self-care.
oh, considering my the financial situation..

• Walking break
• Bath with music and candle light (yis, cheesy, it's good)
• Friends with trust
• Drawing
• Playing with puppies in the pet store on my way home

if money

• Flowers
• Art Therapy ($45 w/insurance, $90 w/o)
• Good food (like fresh Sashimi)
• Yoga class
• Shopping

I made this drawing on a sleepless night last week. I always wanted to draw myself more colorful than just everything black(my hair,eyes,eyebrows all black). Though I used to make fun of my sister's red hair in her drawing...top secret that my sister will never find out: I colored my eyes in purple !

Kae Dal Um means Recognition

Sleeping Women with Standing Wolf

Lithograph by Kiki Smith

Women who study psychology are not so popular in the country where I come from. Actually, men try to avoid the women coming from the psychology background.

They claim that....

a. Women with higher degree are too tiring because they will try to argue against the men, and it's annoying. The men refer these women to "girls with many bags(more like backpacks)." Unfortunately, psychology requires a Master's degree most of the case - at least.

b. Psychology people are known to have a lot issues on their own, and they are extraordinary.

c. They are just complicated.

Even though I feel defensive against these judgemental ideas, I admit the fact that I am somehow a complicated person. I enjoy exploring my own thoughts and feelings, which attracted me to this particular study. Sometimes, it is scary to think my personal issues affecting and relating directly back to my profession, which could happen possibly. I try to be sensitive and to be aware of myself before I relate to other people.

Sometimes I think that I mature by understanding myself as a professional - then I compromise.

(The image I attached to this blog does not necessarily relate to this topic)

resonse piece for the Lulu Bird

I had this image saved in my computer, ever since I got it from my sister.

So... I have been talking to many friends from my high school. Since we were "stuck" together for 24 hrs every day for 3 years (it was a boarding school), we had eventually become sisters and brothers. These relationships became even more interesting when we went to all different colleges, and started going towards different goals from each other. We were so bounded for such a long time, that we felt strange to see each other in different places, when it happened for the first time. I felt so excited every time I hung out with them and heard about what they have been studying in school, which was reeeeeeeeally different from what I was doing for my major!

I got a brief message from my bestfriend this morning. I felt my muscles around my mouth pulled together for a smile, as our little movie played inside my brain that moment. Oh, we shared every thought, wrote poems, draw, and talk philosophy together when we were in high school. He seemed to be in a totally different place now, just like I am in another different place from where he I used to be. It is such a nice feeling in life, when I hear from my precious friends once in a while like this.

It's like a hint of lime in Gin and Tonic. (my current life as the bitter gin)

Gonan means Struggle

This is a video I made last fall. It reflects some of the struggles I have experienced regarding my cultural identity.(probably on-going)

One of my good teacher's advice: "We all hope to be understood", meaning no one will be understood if we don't compromise.

I am sensitive to my feelings, and I express them very frankly. I know when I get scared, fearful, or nervous. I know when I feel stuck. I cry like it's the end of the world when I feel hurt. I freak out. I can be really loud about my feelings. And I may start thinking and feeling as if I am going to pass out, just like when Goldfish jump out of the fishball and soon it passes out. However, I am like a weirdo Goldfish jumping back into the fishball. Luckily I have special power that I can get myself up after falling down. Sometimes it happens the next morning, other times, takes longer. But I know I will get going again.

by the way, I think this is genetic.